May 2009
M	T	W	T	F	S	S
« Apr		Jun »
	1	2	3
4	5	6	7	8	9	10
11	12	13	14	15	16	17
18	19	20	21	22	23	24
25	26	27	28	29	30	31

Pharmacy Links

YOUR MARITAL HEALTH/WIVES’ SEXUALITY: “G”. . . I DON’T SEEM TO HAVE ONE: PUTTING WOMEN ON THE SPOT

18th May 2009

I don’t know. I’ve looked and looked. Either my G spot got erased, or I never had one, or there was never such a thing.

WIFE

There is no G spot. There is no debate in the research literature on this issue. The authors of the book The G-Spot themselves did not mean that such a “spot” existed, but that there was an area, a region in the anterior outer third of the vagina related to innervation that Dr. Grafenberg had described years earlier. Some women find this general area very sensitive, sometimes too sensitive. Others have very little sensitivity in that region.

One of two “sexual inventions,” then, was a magical spot that led to quick, more intense orgasms. It is easy to understand this issue by finding the G area for yourselves. In a relaxing environment, alone, quiet, and just for the learning of it, lie naked with your partner face to face. Guide the husband’s index finger into the vagina using saliva, K-Y Jelly or other nonallergenic lotion as necessary. With the husband’s palm facing up toward you, have him push gently around in the area of the outer third of the vagina’s top region. Don’t expect sparks, orgasms, thrills, or anything at all. Just experience the tender exploration of the top part of the outer third of the vagina. Whatever you feel, from nothing to something, is still the G area. The wife may feel this area as pleasurable, very distinguishable, not distinguishable at all, or even somewhat uncomfortable. Try this at different times and you will find that the sensations change. You may even feel the urge to urinate when the husband pushes firmly up with his index finger about two knuckles into the vagina. Publicity for a G spot far exceeds the actual “product” performance.

To make this point more strongly with the couples in my program, I ask them to discover their “P spot,” the palm spot. I ask husband and wife to open their left hands to one another and with slight pressure, slide their right index fingers across the spouse’s palm. I ask them to report one particular spot that seems more sensitive than another. The couples always report a spot, and the same would be true for any other area of the body. The spots will be different for each person, and they will be different at different times. There is nothing about being human that relates to any one spot anywhere. We only put ourselves on the spot sexually if we continue to look for one.

The Ñ area, the region around the clitoris including the clitoris itself, the prepuce or foreskin that partially covers the clitoris and surrounding tissue, is much more richly and surface-innervated than the G area. It corresponds to the F area I described in men in Chapter Six. Juxtaposing the F and Ñ areas in a comfortable posture is the idea behind the posture of the future described in more detail in Chapter Eight. The clitoris and G area are no more “spots” than the penis is a “spot.” They are erotic areas, and the body has as many of those as we each care to create for ourselves.

In intercourse, the F area is typically caressed and stimulated by warmth and moisture. The Ñ area receives little direct stimulation. The posture of the future suggests contacting the F and Ñ areas for more balanced and prolonged stimulation that can, as I have suggested, take the “organ” out of orgasm and allow for psychasms.