Do You Have a Hostile Heart?

It takes a long, probing examination to determine whether you are a hostile person (people do hide such truths, from others and themselves), but Dr. Redford Williams of Duke University has three questions that will raise a warning flag for you. In edited form, they are given here. Circle the word that best describes your behavior:

1. When anybody slows down or stops what I want to do, I think they are selfish, mean, and inconsiderate.

Never___ Sometimes___

Often___ Always___

2.   When anybody does something that seems incompetent, messy, selfish, or inconsiderate to me, I quickly feel angry or enraged. At the same time, my heart races, my breath comes quickly, and my palms sweat.

Never___ Sometimes___

Often___ Always___

3.   When I have such thoughts or feelings, I let fly with words, gestures, a raised voice, and frowns.

Never___ Sometimes___

Often___ Always___

If you answer “often” or “always” to two of these questions, you are in a high-risk group. You have a hostile heart.

How to Have a Trusting Heart

The key to reducing hostility may be a trusting heart, says Dr. Redford Williams.

Hostility begins when you mistrust others. Dr. Williams suggests these 12 steps for acquiring such feelings of trust:

1.  Monitor your cynical thoughts by recognizing them.

2.  Confess your hostility and seek support for change.

3.  Stop cynical thought.

4.  Reason with yourself.

5.  Put yourself in the other person’s shoes.

6.  Laugh at yourself.

7.  Practice relaxing.

8.  Try trusting others.

9.  Force yourself to listen more.

10.  Substitute assertiveness (firmness) for aggression.

11.  Pretend today is your last day.

12.  Practice forgiveness.

If you cannot do it on your own, seek help from a psychologist, psychiatrist, or member of the clergy.

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GENERAL HEALTH

Most women can nurse their babies if they desire to do so, and if they eat the foods necessary to build up the stores of nutrients for milk production. Breast feeding can convey a sense of satisfaction to the mother, and a safe, protected feeling to the infant. Human milk provides the benefits of easy digestion and desirable rates of growth and development. Women who are unable to breast feed their infants or who must return to employment should never be made to feel guilty if they must choose bottle feeding.

About 15 to 45 ml of thick, yellowish fluid called colostrum is produced during the first few days after delivery. Although this small amount of milk does not provide much nutrient intake, it provides the infant greater protection against infection. Placing the infant at the breast early also helps to stimulate the milk flow.

Self-demand feeding permits the baby to nurse when he is hungry, rather than according to an arbitrary time schedule. The mother soon learns to recognize when the baby is hungry and not crying for relief of some other discomfort. Infants nurse as often as every two hours during the first few weeks, but soon regulate to an approximate three- or four-hour schedule. About the second month the baby begins to sleep through the 2 or 3 a.m. feeding. By five months he usually does not awaken for a feeding at 10 to 11 p.m.

Breast-fed babies should be weaned about the fifth month or later. A bottle or cup feeding is substituted at a convenient feeding time. When the baby has become accustomed to this – after about a week or two – a second bottle or cup is offered. As much as two to three months are needed for full weaning. Breast-fed babies, like bottle-fed babies, require the addition of foods from time to time.

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GENERAL HEALTH