Alan Madison: I’m scared as hell at different periods. I have little sores on my skin, and my leg tingles. I’m going to be crazy until I see the doctor. I wake up at night and cry a little.     People fear what they do not understand and cannot control. Like Alan, they worry about symptoms that may or may not be serious. They fear being a patient in a hospital, or undergoing painful medical tests and procedures. They fear dependency: “My husband had a tremendous fear of being bedridden and me caring for him,” said Lisa. They fear rejection: Alan was afraid that people would treat him as though he had leprosy; Helen said she was fearful of telling her sons. People with HIV infection are afraid they will give someone else the virus. Caregivers fear contagion.     People with HIV fear what the infection might do to them: they fear becoming blind, or losing their cognitive abilities. They fear dying. They say they fear not death, but the way death comes. “I could handle dying,” said Alan, “if I knew how I might die. My biggest fear is what the end will be like.” When June goes with her son to the hospital, she feels fear: “It is hard for me to see his friends who are also in the hospital. I think, what’s the last time going to be like for him? It’s so frightening. You can drive yourself crazy thinking these things. And you’re also crazy if you don’t think these things. You are faced with that ultimate fear all the time.” People fear the future. All these fears are realistic responses to a situation that in fact includes the possibility of sickness, pain, dependency, rejection, and death.     Sometimes, however, people feel not fear, but anxiety. That is, they have feelings of fear that are unrealistic. People who are anxious say they feel as if something terrible were about to happen. They cannot say what exactly they fear, only that they have a sense of underlying uneasiness. They feel restless and uncomfortable wherever they are. They are irritable, tense, and preoccupied with their bodies. They have trouble breathing, are nauseated, break out into cold sweats, have racing pulses. Some have periods of feeling panicky.     People whose feelings of anxiety persist too long or are too severe should see a mental health professional or a doctor who might in turn recommend a visit to a psychiatrist. Persistent anxiety takes a tremendous amount of energy, and it is often curable. Psychiatrists can prescribe medication to relieve anxiety. Mental health professionals can teach techniques that help you relax. Physical relaxation usually makes people feel calmer and more themselves again.
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For some people, adjustment to spinal cord injury is relatively smooth and easy. Others can resume a stable and productive life only after a period of emotional upheaval and economic or social struggle. The difficulties presented by a spinal cord injury often stimulate a period of soul-searching and spark a person’s capacity for creative problem-solving. These processes can lead to a renewed sense of personal strength, transcendence of loss, and development of a more meaningful “way of being in the world.”Our experience in working with people with spinal cord injury tells us that recovery and successful living after injury go more smoothly when people know what to expect during physical and emotional recovery. Being able to recognize and cope with medical and emotional difficulties, and having an idea of how to deal with changes in social relationships, really does help. In our current health care climate, priority is given to providing basic medical care and physical rehabilitation. Sometimes, not enough time and attention are given to helping people learn psychological, sexual, social, and vocational coping skills. A person may leave the hospital with the physical equipment for a changed way of life but unprepared for the emotional and social upheavals that lie ahead.Learning to live successfully with a spinal cord injury and its associated disability is a long and challenging process. Unlike most acute medical crises, such as a broken leg or appendicitis, spinal cord injury cannot be “fixed” and its consequences do not go away once the immediate medical crisis is over. In almost all cases, even with the best medical or surgical intervention, a spinal cord injury results in some enduring physical disability that affects one’s life in many ways. The process of adapting to a spinal cord injury continues throughout life.Spinal cord injury has a tremendous impact on physical, psychological, social, and economic aspects of life. After the injury, most people spend a significant period of time in the hospital, undergoing emergency treatment, acute medical care, and rehabilitation.To a great extent, self-image and identity are intertwined with the experiences of the body. Spinal cord injury interferes with these experiences by disrupting normal movement, sensation, and sexual function, and sometimes by causing pain. Spinal cord injury can make your favorite activities impossible, limit your choices, and increase your physical dependence on others.The disruptions and limitations caused by spinal cord injury can affect the sense of self, personal relationships, and social roles.The road to recovery has many pitfalls. Losses and changes brought about by the injury can produce lowered self-esteem, depression, family conflicts, and social isolation. Passivity, self-pity, self-neglect, and substance abuse are some of the problems that may derail your progress. Social stigma and prejudice, environmental and social barriers, and problems with the delivery of health care and economic benefits compound the emotional and physical struggles and create further obstacles to living successfully.Spinal cord injury, like any major life crisis, can be a catalyst for positive change. You’ll find that it can shake up old ways of thinking and doing and inspire a reassessment of your values, goals, and relationships. It can sharpen the appreciation of your mind, spirituality, and emotional connections to others. It can bring a family closer together. A spinal cord injury challenges you to find new and creative channels for self-expression and to discover new pathways to a full and satisfying life.
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We usually think of life in the watery womb experience as a blissful time. Held within a protected bubble, the fetus floats in it’s own universe, growing and developing along the humanoid evolutionary pathway. We think of the womb as a haven, an impermeable, all-protecting nirvana that shields new life from the dangers existing in a more tumultuous and toxic outside world. At least for a time, it is believed that the developing child is perfectly safe.The protective placenta is a truly amazing organ. It surrounds the fetus and attaches to the mother, controlling metabolic changes. By month three of pregnancy, a human placenta is two inches in diameter. The attached umbilical cord is about four inches long. It will eventually grow into a curly twenty-two-inch-long and a half-inch wide rope. The placenta will expand into a disc that is eight inches wide and an inch thick, that weighs slightly more than a pound. The placenta is expelled with the fetus during birth.*1/165/1*

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