In adolescence, the peer group becomes a valuable source of information and emotional support. At this time, there is a noticable shift of influence from home to the peer group. Within that peer group, you work out your own value system but the really big foundation stones will have been set in childhood. Adolescence is a time for increasing independence and self-reliance as the emerging adult questions and modifies the attitudes and beliefs of parents, and of society in general.

Popular music for young people is a reflection of this struggle to make sense of the world they will inherit. By necessity it will be different from the musical tastes of their parents. They will see to that. By deliberately making ourselves distinct from our parents, we establish our own individuality.

Hard as it is at times, we would do well to welcome the rebellion of young people, for it is through them that social change will take place. Nothing improves by ignoring it, or by accepting the status quo. We may reach the conclusion that the way things are is the best compromise, but at least we have critically analyzed and challenged it. This is not something unique to the present; it has happened this way for centuries and the ‘generation gap’ is in fact a necessary phase. If parents see the questioning process as a personal criticism it will just widen the gap. As every strategist knows, a defensive posture leaves little room for negotiation. Young people given permission to develop their own values will have less need to rebel. Family therapists tell me that families run into the biggest difficulties when parenting styles fall into one of two extremes, stifling inflexibility or totally laissez-faire.

The greatest thing parents can do for their children is to really listen to them, but in a way that is not judgmental. Of course this is very difficult when deeply-held convictions are being questioned, but in the interest of maintaining an effective relationship it is vital.

This is particularly true in the case of alternative sexual orientation. Whenever this arises in a family it invariably triggers a crisis. Let’s look at the figures. There is a fairly standard population incidence of homosexuality in the Western world of around one in ten. Given that the average family has just over two children, then the numbers tell me that more than one in five families will grapple with the issue at some stage. One mother said that at first she was shocked and disappointed, even angry. ‘It had never occurred to me that my son would be gay. I had always imagined him marrying and having a few kids. It took me a while to adjust, and during that time I know I was pushing him away. One night I was sitting going through our old family albums, and I saw this photo of Brian on his first day at school. I started to cry, you know, I remember how scared he was gripping onto my hand as we walked together into the schoolyard. We had always been so close. Then it occurred to me that I was really letting him down. This was the most difficult time in his life and I wasn’t there for him.’ A gay counsellor said, ‘These are your sons and daughters, your brothers and sisters. They are the same person the day after they tell you they are gay as the day before. They need your support.’

In a heterosexist society, families are not prepared for dealing with non-heterosexual members. The messages young people get about homosexuality are invariably negative. It takes tremendous courage to ‘come out’, and there is a very real risk of rejection. Specialized counselling may be needed to help families come to terms with the issues this presents.
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Puberty is a time of physical and emotional turmoil as both boys and girls face the dilemmas of their changing bodies, and a growing sexual awareness. It is a time of evolving a concept of ourselves in relation to others.

The time bomb of puberty is set to explode at a preordained age, releasing a surge of hormones that have effects on every part of our being: our thoughts, our appearance, our emotions. Although it can be frustrating for late bloomers, the timing of that change is different for each person and there is nothing that will speed it up.

While nature is working its wonders it is also playing some pretty mean practical jokes, things that make you suspect a Creator with a sense of humor. Why else would your nose and your feet grow first? Why else at the most self-conscious time in your life would you break out in pustular lumps all over your face? Why else would so many developing boys grow breasts which disappear just as mysteriously as they arrive? This is a phenomenon called ‘gynecomastia’. You can often pick the boys with gynecomastia … they’re the ones wearing big sloppy sweaters on the beach in the middle of summer. If only they knew they weren’t changing into girls and that the swelling would go away there wouldn’t need to be so much anguish.

Getting used to a changing body is part of the excitement of growing up … I can remember being really excited when I realized I had grown tall enough for my feet to touch the floor when I was sitting on the bus … but it is also a source of embarrassment, fear and confusion. The biggest question is, Am I normal?’ If an adolescent can be reassured that what they’re going through is normal, a large part of the battle will be won.
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Chickenpox is a common disease in childhood, but can also occur in adults. The illness is usually milder in children.

Cause

Chickenpox is caused by the varicella virus. It can be spread either through person to person contact, or via sneezing and coughing. It is contagious from a few days before the rash appears, until all the existing lesions or blisters have formed scabs and are no longer weeping, which usually takes around a week.

Treatment

There is no cure or specific treatment for chickenpox. Treatment is geared towards relieving the symptoms. Calamine lotion dabbed on the blisters or scabs can help to ease itching. Gauze pads soaked in bicarbonate of soda and water and then placed over the lesions can also calm the itch for a while. If the itching is intolerable, your doctor may prescribe an antihistamine medicine or tablets. Keep your child’s nails short so that if he does scratch, infection is less likely to occur. Alternatively, put mittens on younger children. Give paracetamol according to directions to help lower the fever. Keep your child away from daycare or school until the last blister has scabbed over.

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Practice your approach together. The biggest danger in sex and love education is what I call “split-parent sex education.” This happens when parents’ values and ideas are different. Kids are expert at using this difference to collect whatever support they need for whatever it is they want to do or not to do. If the two of you can’t get it together, you really can’t expect your children to get themselves together.

It is a good idea to try to get someone you trust and respect to help with sex and love education. This “unit” approach seems to be a very helpful technique, but one that takes some very open prior communication with the person chosen to help.

Sex and love education is not a one-time thing. Sexuality is a lifetime process. Both you and your children will learn forever. We will know we are making some progress when regular sex- and love-education classes are offered in our nursing homes. Sex education is definitely not for children! It’s for everyone.

The “inoculation theory” of sex education does not work. You cannot teach children once and render them sexually immune. Repeating over and over never really works for getting their room clean, but they do learn that you value cleanliness. They will also learn through repetition what you value sexually, your marriage-intimacy emphasis.

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I don’t know. I’ve looked and looked. Either my G spot got erased, or I never had one, or there was never such a thing.

WIFE

There is no G spot. There is no debate in the research literature on this issue. The authors of the book The G-Spot themselves did not mean that such a “spot” existed, but that there was an area, a region in the anterior outer third of the vagina related to innervation that Dr. Grafenberg had described years earlier. Some women find this general area very sensitive, sometimes too sensitive. Others have very little sensitivity in that region.

One of two “sexual inventions,” then, was a magical spot that led to quick, more intense orgasms. It is easy to understand this issue by finding the G area for yourselves. In a relaxing environment, alone, quiet, and just for the learning of it, lie naked with your partner face to face. Guide the husband’s index finger into the vagina using saliva, K-Y Jelly or other nonallergenic lotion as necessary. With the husband’s palm facing up toward you, have him push gently around in the area of the outer third of the vagina’s top region. Don’t expect sparks, orgasms, thrills, or anything at all. Just experience the tender exploration of the top part of the outer third of the vagina. Whatever you feel, from nothing to something, is still the G area. The wife may feel this area as pleasurable, very distinguishable, not distinguishable at all, or even somewhat uncomfortable. Try this at different times and you will find that the sensations change. You may even feel the urge to urinate when the husband pushes firmly up with his index finger about two knuckles into the vagina. Publicity for a G spot far exceeds the actual “product” performance.

To make this point more strongly with the couples in my program, I ask them to discover their “P spot,” the palm spot. I ask husband and wife to open their left hands to one another and with slight pressure, slide their right index fingers across the spouse’s palm. I ask them to report one particular spot that seems more sensitive than another. The couples always report a spot, and the same would be true for any other area of the body. The spots will be different for each person, and they will be different at different times. There is nothing about being human that relates to any one spot anywhere. We only put ourselves on the spot sexually if we continue to look for one.

The Ñ area, the region around the clitoris including the clitoris itself, the prepuce or foreskin that partially covers the clitoris and surrounding tissue, is much more richly and surface-innervated than the G area. It corresponds to the F area I described in men in Chapter Six. Juxtaposing the F and Ñ areas in a comfortable posture is the idea behind the posture of the future described in more detail in Chapter Eight. The clitoris and G area are no more “spots” than the penis is a “spot.” They are erotic areas, and the body has as many of those as we each care to create for ourselves.

In intercourse, the F area is typically caressed and stimulated by warmth and moisture. The Ñ area receives little direct stimulation. The posture of the future suggests contacting the F and Ñ areas for more balanced and prolonged stimulation that can, as I have suggested, take the “organ” out of orgasm and allow for psychasms.

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Moderate exercise can significantly accelerate the natural detoxification of the body, by improving the circulation of body fluids, increasing the intake of oxygen to our body, speeding the rate of metabolism and increasing the excretion rate through increased sweating. This is exactly why people feel great after undergoing such exercise. They purify their bodies and they all notice, that their minds instantly become sharper.

I would like to stress the word moderate here. If the intensity of the exercise is excessive, not only such exercise is not beneficial, but may be even harmful. If you are “loosing your breath” for example, it is a sign that the body has entered an anaerobic (low oxygen) emergency mode of operation and it is a fair warning from your body that you should slow down.

One method of assessing the right level of physical activity for you is to observe your pulse rate. If it exceeds 90-100 -you should slow down. Another good gauge is this: if you feel comfortable continuing the exercise (jogging, walking, skating, roller skating, tennis etc.) over long periods of time, this level of activity is right for you. Note, that with training you can increase the intensity of exercise, but it is not necessary. After exercising at the right intensity you should not feel tired. On the contrary, you should be more energetic and, most importantly, have clearer, sharper mind. Remember, that we should enjoy whatever we do.

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After cancer and strokes, multiple sclerosis is the commonest incapacitating disease of the central nervous system.

Nerve fibres are covered by a sheath of fatty material or myelin, much like electrical material.

In multiple sclerosis, or MS, the nerves lose this myelin covering, which is replaced by scar tissue.

MS comes on most frequently between the ages of 18 and 30 and is rare after 55, and affects the sexes equally. It is characterised by attacks and then remissions where the symptoms almost disappear, only to reappear weeks, months or even years later.

The cause of MS is unknown, although there are a lot of theories and some facts known about its onset.

In discussing the disease, the British Medical Journal said: “Multiple sclerosis is a chronic debilitating neurological disease that occurs only in man. Its cause is unknown and there is no cure. Each year hundreds of papers about the illness are published and many theories about the causation of the disorder have been put forward, none of which has ever been confirmed.”

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The lens of the eye is behind the iris, or colored portion, and is held in place by ligaments.

It has muscles which alter its shape so as to focus light rays on the retina, the sensitive nerve-endings at the back of the eye.

As we age, the lens gradually loses the ability to focus objects close to the eyes and so glasses may be needed for close vision. This condition is called presbyopia.

In cataract, the lens becomes increasingly opaque, interfering with the passage of light and impairing vision.

Cataract may develop from many causes and even be present at birth. Cataract which comes on with age is a degenerative process.

Rubella (German measles) in the mother during pregnancy may lead to congenital cataract in the newborn. Radiation may lead to cataract, as can prolonged exposure to severe heat and cataract was an occupational hazard in glass workers because of this.

It may arise from infection or inflammation in the eye or the prolonged use of cortisone drops prescribed for some other eye disorder.

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Related Posts:

• SEX AND PUBERTY: PEERS OR PARENTS?
• SEX AND PUBERTY: PHYSICAL CHANGES
• HOSTILITY AS DEADLY EMOTION: TEST; STEPS TO ACQUIRE FEELING OF TRUST
• NUTRITION FOR INFANT: BREAST FEEDING
• CHILD’S HEALTH: INFECTIOUS DISEASES: CHICKENPOX (VARICELLA)
• LEAVING YOUR CHILDREN SOMETHING TO LOVE BY: SOME RECOMMENDATIONS FOR TALKING WITH KIDS ABOUT SEX
• YOUR MARITAL HEALTH/WIVES’ SEXUALITY: “G”. . . I DON’T SEEM TO HAVE ONE: PUTTING WOMEN ON THE SPOT
• TRUE HEALING – PRACTICAL ADVICE/ACCELERATING THE DETOXIFICATION PROCESS – EXERCISE
• MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS – INTRODUCTION
• CHILDREN’S HEALTH: LARYNGITIS